I spent last weekend volunteering at an old folks home and I've finally decided that old people are not disgusting. They are pretty great. 

If you want to seem like a psychic, just ask them questions. In a minute they will forget and you can "guess" anything about their lives. If you want to be an athlete, run 6 or 8 bingo cards at once. They will be endlessly impressed at your boundless agility and quickness. Double points if you can scoot your own chair in, strongman. If you want to funny, smart, courageous, handsome, interesting, or really anything else- just volunteer at an old folks home.

Don't get me wrong. I am not going back there. But, like Bender Bending Rodriguez, I have a little picture of all of them hanging in my center compartment.