Lately I have taken to sending pictures of my penis to people on the Internet.

--Backtrack- 

A while ago I was talking to someone that I met randomly on the Internet. One of those people that will undoubtedly end up listed as Jessica Facebook in my phone, receive 3 drunken text messages and be soberly (and shamefully) deleted. 

"So, what are you up to tonight?" - Me

"Oh- just studying. Studying and maybe going to watch some TV."- Her

"Wow. That gives me a gigantic hard-on. I am jealous."

"Well, I am jealous of your hard-on."

"You shouldn't be. It really doesn't take much work."

And, that is the context in which I gracefully eased my hard-on into the conversation. And with incredible finesse I managed to maintain a conversation 100% about my hard-on for a solid fifteen minutes. Note : I did have a hard-on at the start of the conversation, but it was not due to her homework. It was due to the pornography I was watching while mindlessly adding smiley faces to our chat window to prove I was there. Secondary note: To my female friends, I don't want you to get the wrong idea. I am also ignoring you and watching pornography while we talk online. Final note: I am doing the same right now.

"You can't be that interested. For all you know, I was kidding. Maybe I do not have a hard-on and I was just saying that to seem cool." -Me (luckily)

"True. Send me a picture of it."

Of COURSE I did it. How could I not. 

--Forwardtrack (?)

Lately I have been sending pictures of my penis to people on the Internet. I am not sure that I can describe the excellence that has resulted from these pictures. Instead I just encourage all of you to send pictures of yourself naked to each other. I promise it is worth it.